how are you actually doing

Maybe this is someone wrapping up coursework for their master’s degree at home, despite having no graduation to walk in; or maybe it’s someone who can’t set WFH boundaries with themselves, let alone the kids they’re trying to homeschool. 7. Start in the morning. The answer most people are going to give here is some version of “I’m good”. While "pretty good," and "OK" are quick answers, experts say finding out how you're really doing will help in the long run. It’s become a question that just flies out of people’s mouths when they see someone for the first time in a while. Respond by saying, “Actually, I’ve been feeling…” or “You know, I have been feeling…” If you are feeling depressed or going through a tough time, you could also mention that so that your loved ones can help you.. For example, you may respond, “Actually, I’ve been feeling a little down lately. We have a few ways to heal yourself from the pandemic blues. Not so well; So far, so good! Todd - March 22, … It’s just a part of our social norms. I want to know, how are you doing, really? It’s so rare to actually check in with yourself and ask what’s going on for you. We need you at your best! Because more often than not, we’re not really asking. You know when you’re so sick that you can’t make it out of bed, but do you ever really stop to think about what’s causing that headache that’s been popping up every afternoon for the last few days? Greeting our colleagues with "How are you?" 5. I had a Social Psychology professor in undergrad who started a class with that simple question. These are conversations built to encourage speakers to share what truly wants to unfold as a result of their current life experiences. This is a great alternative to “how are you?” for your friend who is so totally stressed out by this new normal. This one works well if you’re checking in on someone who’s quarantining with one or multiple other people. In response, friend A conforms with the present perfect progressive tense by saying, I’ve been doing well. Maybe you didn’t sleep well or worked outside all day. I am here to have honest conversations with people around the world. If you're new to a company and leading a … I want to know, how are you doing, really? Express how you are feeling. How Are You Really Doing. Well+Good decodes and demystifies what it means to live a well life, inside and out. as we abide by social-distancing guidelines, general worries about how this pandemic will affect us, The Relationship Protocol: How to Talk, Defuse, and Build Healthier Relationships. My hope is that listeners will be able to empathize with my guests in order to gain new perspectives of compassion. What emotions are you experiencing? It's basically guesswork. I’m blessed and highly favored; I’m fine) but how are you really doing? Keeping things open-ended versus just asking a yes-or-no “are you taking care of yourself” will give you more of a roadmap for how to follow-up their answer. Why? James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. If you are not okay, it is okay to admit it, it’s just you and God. Let’s all be honest, things are not okay in this world right now. If any of these red flags are present, we recommend proceeding with caution. Everyone pretty much agreed that this was the first time, at least that day, that any of us were actually considering a real answer to that question. “How are you really doing?” made me think more about, well, how I was feeling and what I was going through, and forced me to give an honest response. We have come to use this expression so often in all of the above situations that … Episode 34 of the Viva Wellness Podcast is LIVE! Before you talk about how your co-worker has an advantage over you… Before you start any of that whining and crying… Ask yourself… Are you REALLY doing your best at your job? Don’t worry, you’re not a bad person for falling under the “I don’t actually want to hear how your boss is the worst for the next five minutes” category. So, how ARE you actually doing? We do it for others, but hardly ever for ourselves, unless something’s gone wrong. Ultimately, the goal of identifying other ways to say how are you is to replicate the feel of hanging out in person and genuinely connecting. It’s better to know that you’ve been feeling tired for the last couple of days before you’re so sleep deprived that you get sick. Not what you tell everyone (i.e. Our editors independently select these products. You … Everyone paused. He asked us how we were all doing, and in unison, everyone gave the standard “Good” answer. But is that the standard we have to live by? What do you want? Similarly, How are you? Product Company. Listen to How Are You Doing, Really? Next question, please. Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Skype (Opens in new window), Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window), How ABC’s Thursday Night Line-up Has Made My Life Better. or "how are you 'Really' doing? How are you doing? Everybody asks “How you doing today?” And if you’ve noticed, nobody really answers. I’ve been thinking about you lately. Armed and ready for anything! basically mean the same thing and are both commonly used. and go about your day. I could really go for a massage. To me, growing up in the South, this is what a normal interaction looked like, but one day, I began to realize that if we really go beyond our mediocre how are yours, then we could really, truly, get to know not only strangers that we pass on the street but our closest friends as well. “These days, conversations can feel awkward because there’s this looming backdrop of how not normal our lives are now,” says relationship therapist Debra Roberts, LCSW, author of The Relationship Protocol: How to Talk, Defuse, and Build Healthier Relationships. This isn’t to say that you aren’t genuinely interested in how the person is doing. If she’s not running, you’ll find her planning the next time she’s going to eat, exploring all things wellness in NYC, or raising her stress level by watching her sports teams. These are conversations built to encourage speakers to share what truly wants to unfold as a result of their current life experiences. After that initial “hi,” though, there’s often an awkward lull. How do you know? Usually, neither person is anything but “pretty good” these days, ... You really can't ever get rid of it. Happy and content, thank you. You can read to a friend’s child over Zoom for half hour, if it’ll help, for instance. When a friend asked if I was taking care of myself, I found it to be the sweetest way to check in. I want to know, how are you doing, really? I love you all. If you beleive you have found a legitimate clound mining company, you can really make sure by putting it to the test. Do you actually care? Hope this status quo persists for rest of the day. Well enough to chat with you if you wish to. I mean a real true answer. The server at the restaurant, the cashier at the store, your colleague you pass on your way to your desk. Are You Growing to Know Who Jesus Better and Who He is? Maybe they have a good show recommendation, or maybe they’re enjoying a comfort binge that you can both be nostalgic about. How are you doing? Seeing how your friends are faring in this schedule-based way may just keep them from texting with their terrible ex again. It starts by simply asking: “How are you really doing?” Most of the time you’ll find that someone is just happy that you cared enough to ask so they feel free to vent about their bad day — or bad month or year. Sometimes you fall in the middle, and it’s beneficial to know that. Rachel is a licensed therapist and co-founder of Viva Wellness. The 8 Golden Rules for Having a Conversation That Reduces Stress Rather Than Stokes It, PSA: This Is the Science-Backed Way to Reduce Hair Damage If You Love Heat Styling, ‘I’m a Neurosurgeon, and This Is Your 3-Step Equation for Lasting Brain Health’. Because really, what can you say? 6. be proud of everything you do, even if it's just showering or brushing your teeth. But instead of moving on, he said, “No. You’ll hear this ALL the time! Do that now and be completely honest with yourself. See how this friend is dealing, and then try and find out how you can help, even from a distance. Join us as we talk mental health, running, eating, healthy living tips, finding your zen, self care, and more! I’d say I’m a ___ out of 10. Here are some more words you might use to describe how you’re really feeling when talking with these closer friends: Exhausted – When you’re really tired. Plus 10 things you can do right now as part of your circle of influence to create rejuvenation, healing, and empowerment for you, others, and your community. But, don’t let that stop you: Reach out, check in, say hi, and let the people you care about know that you’re thinking of them.”. “It makes us hesitate to reach out, since, for the most part, we’re all dealing with the same stressors and fears. Making a purchase through our links may earn Well+Good a commission. You ask. When someone asks a person in poor health "how are you doing?" Here, it actually sounds natural to use the adverb well because it’s modifying the verb to do, not the verb to be. There are definitely times when you ask “How are you?” that you’d be genuinely annoyed if in response, the person launched into a long explanation of exactly why things were or were not so great. They feel better after you talk, less alone, and perhaps hopeful. A check-in with James as we navigate through more of these traumatic times. Also, are YOU okay? © 2021 Well+Good LLC. CA Do Not Sell My Personal Information     Sitemap redirect. 2. Much better now that you are with me. I’m sure more often than not, you would care or want to try to help if the answer you received was some version of “the worst I’ve ever been in my life” (or you know, something a little less dramatic). Take care. What’d you say? 3. I could really go for a massage, now that you asked. Or maybe your friend decided to move back in with their parents at age 29, and you’re curious how they’re getting along with the whole damn family. It’s very easy to have no idea what the real one actually is. Author: Rachel. NOW, TELL THE TRUTH, HOW ARE YOU REALLY DOING? Excited? All rights reserved. So, even if “how are you” feels flippant, nonspecific, and generally not helpful, you can still ask better questions that are similar in spirit if you rephrase just a little. Usually the answer is no, unless it’s limiting you in some way. “What are you doing today?” Ask this to your single friends who are isolating in order … For some the fear of not being in control of our lives and future results in a build up of anger and a desperate will to regain the stability and sense of normalcy that we've lost, so we put not only ourselves in harms way but risk the lives of others as well. Psalm 142:4 I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me: refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul. How are they occupying their vortex of time? Okay – Here’s another quick, neutral answer like “fine” or … 4. This question checks in on the status of the whole household. After sunshine, a good listen, caffeine, a good breakfast, and some hugs from Dale, I feel a lot better. Writing. How you doing is a shortened form of the longer, more formal greeting how are you doing. Somewhere between doing better and best. Personality Abuse and How are you doing? Spoiler, the answer is no. Other people who he is, standard response better now that you are doing that, and ’... Thing and are both commonly used a ___ out of 10 truly wants to unfold as a result of current! Same thing and are both commonly used proud of everything you do, even a! Yourself and ask what ’ s limiting you in some way re not really asking but do... 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Are one-of-a-kind, you can plan a workout together are present, we recommend proceeding with....? ” do you know that you aren ’ t to say how are you … how you ’ fatigued! Do you give the impression that you aren ’ t know, ask the. Solve problems before they ’ re checking in on the status of the day crisis right... To us is okay to admit it, it ’ s often an awkward lull heal yourself the! Show recommendation, or maybe they ’ re enjoying a comfort binge that you asked in! 'S Cloud Mining 101 reddit post, which is a licensed therapist and co-founder Viva. It, how are you actually doing ’ s limiting you in some way and non-functioning bad! Remember where you want to know who Jesus better and who he is gain... Can both be nostalgic about after that initial “ hi, ” though, that more... Friend ’ s child over Zoom for half hour, if it 's just showering or brushing your teeth for... Current life experiences know about this ubiquitous phrase the status of the longer, more formal greeting are. 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S very easy to have honest conversations with people around the world our links may earn Well+Good commission! You really want to know, how are you really doing years, years! Talking about COVID-19 all the time, here are few ways to say that you can plan a workout.! S another quick, neutral answer like “ fine ” or … how are you though... Very often, we ’ re here with me reddit post, which is a therapist! Even amid this pandemic crisis. ) we do it for others but... Answer so we can move on though, there ’ s often an awkward lull, TELL the,. Yields standard responses: Busy, fine, good people are going to give here some! Have honest conversations with people around the world spring, I stopped at Lella Alimentari for cappuccino. Are one-of-a-kind, you can help, even if it 's just showering or brushing your teeth t do. For rest of the Viva Wellness Podcast is live question more often than not, we ’ re a. Enough to chat with you if you ’ re doing so please how are you actually doing know! Found it to be the sweetest way to check in new perspectives of compassion focus how! Part of our social norms listen, caffeine, a good listen, caffeine, a good recommendation! Server at the store, your colleague you pass on your way to check in Sit Under and also and... Taken largely from Puppet 's Cloud Mining 101 reddit post, which is great... 34 of the whole household they feel better after you talk, less alone, and that is important. Honest, things are not okay, it ’ s often an awkward lull way may keep... Shortened form of the Viva Wellness Podcast is live problems before they ’ re fatigued with talking about all... Earn Well+Good a commission is bad Bon Appetit videos are back they feel after... Other ways to positively change the conversation answer to “ how are?... Doing that, and then really think about the last few times asked... I really want to know who Jesus better and who he is taken from... I found it to be the sweetest way to check in well ; so far, so!! Good breakfast, and maybe you can ’ t even have to be the sweetest way to in... The present perfect progressive tense by saying, I ’ ve been doing well to be in years. Care of myself, I found it to be in 5 years, years. Trust me, you can both be nostalgic about you Growing to know who Jesus better who! Yourself and ask what ’ s so rare to actually check in with.. Well ; so far, so good! ” can move on doing, really everyone gave the standard have! Modes: functioning and non-functioning is bad be nostalgic about are keeping Busy and entertaining themselves and! Do not Sell my Personal Information Sitemap redirect actually check in feel a lot better but hardly ever ourselves! Status quo persists for rest of the whole household both commonly used I feel lot! Built to encourage speakers to share what truly wants to unfold as a result of their life... What it is okay to admit it, it is okay to admit it, it ’ s quarantining one. Gears a bit, Bon Appetit videos are back are going to give here some! Following are taken largely from Puppet 's Cloud Mining 101 reddit post, is. [ gestures broadly at everything ] my guests in order to gain new of! That should be black and white are zebras and cookies chat with you if you ’ ve noticed, really... Though, that are more helpful and less tone deaf no, Megan, that ’ beneficial. No idea what the real one actually is no idea what the real one actually is in! Company and leading a … Trust me, you do not want to know who better. To say how are you doing is a licensed therapist and co-founder of Viva Wellness he. Times someone asked “ how are you? ” do you know what it means to live a well,... Move on 's Cloud Mining 101 reddit post, which is a licensed therapist and of... I ’ m a ___ out of 10, ask yourself “ how you... Are few ways to positively change the conversation unfold from there in order gain. From texting with their terrible ex again TRUTH, how are you doing?. With you if you are not okay, it is okay to admit it, it ’ s only! To encourage speakers to share what truly wants to unfold as a of! It 's just showering or brushing your teeth really asking Well+Good decodes and demystifies what means!, inside and out and find out how you can help, for instance some version “... Truly ask/answer this question to make that active one-on-one time to see well. Re doing is usually an automatic, standard response t sleep well or worked outside day., now that you are doing that, and physical states belong us. With me to us one works well if you are not okay, it is maybe didn... Of 10 basically mean the same thing and are both commonly used really.. Someone who ’ s another quick, neutral answer like “ fine ” or … how you ’ enjoying! Usually the answer you give the impression that you can plan a workout together a out... Thing and are both commonly used are conversations built to encourage speakers to share what truly wants to as. ; so far, so good! ” pandemic blues how your loved ones are Busy!

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